PUTTING THE PIECES TOGETHER:

Coming up with any excuse not to cum? Or ghosting on plans with friends until you become an actual ghost? Research shows that you’re not alone. By recognizing the impacts of your pain, you regain control of your life’s momentum.

You can structure your own care plan by connecting the dots between how pelvic pain impacts your life to see where you can begin to explore your attitudes, beliefs, and values to start feeling better.

Health isn’t black and white, all or nothing: and treatment strategies aren’t only physical. Your pain is very real, but how your body came to the decision to turn on these alarm bells is very complex. If it wasn’t, you wouldn’t be here, and neither would any of the researchers and clinicians working to get answers to all your pelvic pain questions.

With a diagnosis that doesn’t have a clear treatment path, it feels as if you’re stuck in limbo, waiting for the next big advancement in biomechanical, physiological, or pathological treatments for hard-flaccid, pelvic pain syndrome, prostatitis… unfortunately, the list goes on.

What if the next big advancement you’re waiting for is already here?

You’re tired of explaining how you feel and want to know why you feel that way. Everything is connected, and if you’re looking for one physical cause to your pain, you’ll never find it. Your pain is influenced by how you feel about it, as much as it’s influenced by biomechanical, physiological, or pathological factors. 

There’s a lot of research on the mechanisms of pain, on rating pain, and strategies for treating pain, but research has widely ignored the impacts of persistent pain on a person’s life. Why is this missing puzzle piece so important? Because Tom Astill’s quality of life study on pelvic pain connects the dots between how pelvic pain impacts your life and where you can begin to explore your attitudes, beliefs, and values to start feeling better.

This treatment strategy is part of the biopsychosocial model. An approach that considers the biological, psychological, and social factors in having any health concern (whether it’s pain in your penis or your stomach). Your penis doesn’t exist in a vacuum, and your brain and thoughts impact the physical experience of pain.

We’re zooming out, from trying to find a needle in a haystack, to taking a look at everything with a wide scope. It’s all connected.

Exercises: jot down notes on how your pain affects these 10 areas of your life, and begin to brainstorm how you can find transformation in yourself. How you can discover a sense of agency, autonomy, and control over how your pain impacts your life, and how you want to feel and experience life.

1 Mood

During our conversation, Tom says the impact pelvic pain has on mood is a massive understatement. What is your first emotion of the day, before you even get out of bed? How do your emotions shift throughout the day or as physical sensations arise in the body?

2 Mental health

When something difficult happens, what is the first thought that pops into your mind? Is it negative, untrue, and unhelpful? Or maybe it’s curious, optimistic, accepting?

3 Libido/arousal

Avoiding sexual intimacy for fear of discomfort or pain? 

4 Ability to take part in physical activities

Are your running shoes unworn in the back of the closet, your bike collecting dust? What are the things you once loved to do, but are no longer part of your life now?

5 Productivity

How are your work and school pursuits? Putting off asking for that promotion until your concerns “get sorted out?” Avoiding that bathroom renovation in case the physical effort aggravates your concerns? Putting off that dream trip to Rome until you no longer squirm at the thought of an eight-hour long-flight?

6 Mistrust of health professions

What are your thoughts when you walk into the exam room, when you meet a new doctor, or when the nurse asks about the nature of your appointment? 

7 Frequency of, enjoyment of, or ability to masturbate

When was the last time touch felt good or pleasurable?

8 Sexual satisfaction

When was the last time that someone else’s touch and presence made you feel physical and sexual pleasure?

9 Intimacy with a partner

Have you shared the experiences you’re going through with your partner? Brené Brown famously asks NFL teams and Navy Seals: “Give me an example of courage that you’ve seen in your life or that you, yourself, have engaged in, any act of bravery, that was not completely defined by vulnerability.” It’s rare that someone has an example.

10 marriage or a long-term relationship(s)

Are plans for dating, marriage, or a ‘starter home’ with a happy dog on hold until you're no longer in pain?

Tom Astill is a physiotherapist working in a musculoskeletal private practice in Australia. As part of his undergraduate studies, he conducted an honours project where he and a group of colleagues developed a questionnaire to assess the impact of chronic pelvic pain in men. This project has sparked a passion for research, chronic pain, and men’s health. Tom is currently looking at various PhD topics in these areas and working on expanding his clinical skills to support his future research.

Connect with Tom on twitter and reddit (u/pelvicpainresearch).

This information is not intended to substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of a healthcare professional with any questions you may have regarding treatment, medications/supplements, or any medical diagnoses. This information is intended for educational purposes only and is in no way to substitute the advice of a licensed healthcare professional.